A pretty good game that the kids were guaranteed to go gaga over. Each aspect of the game was designed specifically to appeal to depressed and media-obsessed gay young adults, including mediocre pixel art, catchy music, furry characters with obvious and easily-imitable character tics, Twitter shitpost humor, and pretentious meta-narrative wanking to make a game that's pretty good. Toby Fox, the game's developer, took everything he knew from making Earthbound hacks and being trapped in the Homestuck guy's basement for a few years and made the most pandering game he could. More than being a game, UNDERTALE was an experiment into the artificial insemination of a fandom. You can also FLIRT with monsters, a game mechanic created solely to inspire smut art and incessant shipping wars. God knows you won't spare them otherwise, since they'll be walking all-invisible like getting ready to pounce on you even after you've spared them for the fifth goddamn time. You can attack monsters and kill them, but obviously won't, since sparing them is how you get to play the feel-good Pacifist route, the only one that matters. In battles, you have to dodge aforesaid monster-themed objects. The player can choose to talk to NPCs, slowing down the game further, who mostly quote ~zany~ tweets. As it would take only about three minutes to walk from one end of the game to the other, the player moves very slow and is constantly interrupted by random encounters. Like many RPGs, the world of the game is essentially a long hallway, or one of those rides where a little train takes you through a dark room with animatronics and decorations on the side, except the animatronics are NPCs and the decorations are boring puzzles. Add the two together and somehow you get the biggest indie game of 2015. The game has a colorful cast of anthropomorphized animals with shoehorned character tics, which appeals to the My Little Pony fans and their ilk, who don't see the shame in fapping to pictures of blue glowing skeleton boners. The game has an inventive story which touches on meta-narratives, choice and the consequences of violence in interactive entertainment, which means it attracts the Thomas Was Alone crowd who believe that videogames were all murder simulators and Tetris before they started blogging about it. Instead of flying with boosters and shooting bars of soap, you dodge many different objects the obvious good guys throw at you. You play a silent protagonist who finds themself in a mysterious cave system haunted by flowers modified by a mad scientist, and no these flowers are golden and not red so you can't sue. It's called UNDERTALE because CAVERNFABLE, GROTTOYARN, SUBTERRANEANDIEGESIS, and Cave Story were taken. UNDERTALE is about a child murdering subterranean monsters who attempt to kill you at every turn, but the monsters are the good guys because of course they are and you should feel ashamed of yourself for even thinking of killing one, you monster. UNDERTALE is a fandom that includes a video game at no extra charge. I think you took my wallet – it looks like an NES.” “ If you are the Toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at Dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me.
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